operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
