White coat. Heels.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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