Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
