garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
