Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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