I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
