what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
