You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
