What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
