you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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