can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize