I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
