Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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