She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
