Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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