Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
