My sheets look like a crime scene.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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