It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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