where am i from again
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
