Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
