Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
