did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
