Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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