Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
