Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
