I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dignity is for republicans.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
