those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize