i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
