How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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