id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
