Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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