ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
