Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
