I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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