If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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