when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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