Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
