What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
