My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
