Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize