i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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