Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
