Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
