I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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