Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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