My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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