she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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