YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
