And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
