I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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