Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
