He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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